Membership.

Being a Member.

With all our campaigns those who are not members may think us a serious lot. They could be right, but not all of the time. We are not all about 'Jam and Jerusalem', with hat and twinset plus pearls. We have a lot of fun and friendship and are often seen publicly letting our hair down and doing some daft things in order to raise funds for charities etc.

Below are some really amusing poems which the author has kindly allowed me to use here.

The W.I. Christmas Dinner Do (!)

The wine made at home by a member
Was a very potent brew
And had quite an effect on guests
Normally sober, upright and true

They all thought they were sipping
A nice little blackcurrant wine
And that after a glass or two
They’d still be feeling fine

The wine was flowing freely
Around the dinner table
And it didn’t take very long before
The guests became less ‘able’

Some people’s words started getting slurred
And they began behaving rather badly
Some started flinging food around
And laughing rather madly

But some hardly seemed to notice
As they finished off the dregs
Until they tried to stand, and found
It had gone straight down to their legs!

One by one they toppled
Like skittles in an alley
And one stood on the table
And did a little ballet!

Now the W.I. wine maker
It really must be said
Knew the potency of the brew
And drank only water instead

Craftily she watched them
Falling on the floor
And with a camera in her hand
Totted up the score

Now blackmail is a nasty word
And not one she liked to use
But the proceeds kept her nicely
In clothes and bags and shoes

So if she invites you to dinner
And offers her home made brew
There’s only one thing you ought to say
And that is: “NO THANK YOU!!”

© Carol Pool (aka Sherri Trifle) December 2009
www.thepoemlady.co.uk

The WI are a group of ‘girls’

Who vary in their ages

Between them they have many skills

And some are wise old sages!

If you could catch their knowledge

And put it in a book

And add in all the recipes

That they all like to cook

Mix it with their wisdom

And a bit of humour too

You’d get a flavour of the WI

And what it could do for you!

It’s more than cooking and sewing

There are talks and games and crafts

And it all gets done and dusted

With an awful lot of laughs

So seek out your local WI

And go along to a meeting

You’ll find it very interesting

And you’ll get a lovely greeting

And just in case you’re worried

About nude calendars and stuff

Rest assured they’ve no intention

Of posing in the buff!

It’s not that they are all too shy

About the ‘altogether’

I think the real reason might just be

The chilly English weather!!!

What type of member are you?

Are you an active member, the kind who would be missed,

Or are you just contented that your name is on the list?

Do you attend the meetings and discuss things with the crowd,

Or do you always stay at home and grumble long and loud?

Do you help with committee, visit a member who is sick,

Or leave the work to just a few, then complain about the clique?

Do you support all functions and do a useful job,

Or is your only comment, 'I'm just one of the mob'?

Come to WI more often and help with hand and heart,

Don't be just a member but take an active part,

Think this over, members, you must know right from wrong,

Are you just a member or do you just belong?

This poem appeared in Warwickshire's Newsletter & came to my eye via the Oxfordshire Federation News & Views Newsletter.